Even while driving that morning, I thought of the uncanny connection between those signs along that foggy road and the spiritual life. Many times, we have no idea where God is leading us in life. We cannot always see the road ahead. Sometimes, we may not even know how close we are to falling off the Way completely. Those daily temptations and choices we make are each a turn in the windy, narrow road that we must navigate. But, as the most thorough planner that He is, God has foreseen these treacherous circumstances and given us signs - godly family and friends, priests and spiritual guides, the saints, the Scriptures, the services and teachings of our Church - who tell us: "Watch out for this turn", "Slippery here", "Slow down". If we only have the faith to trust what God has given us, we too can safely arrive at our ultimate destination - His Kingdom.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Direction
My drive to school the other day was met by an exceptionally foggy morning. At one point along my commute, there is a windy road which follows a river. Even on a good day, I must slow down significantly to manage the tight curves and avoid driving off the road. On this particular day, however, I knew I would have to be even more careful, as I could not see the road more than about 10 feet in front of me at any given time. Thankfully, some forward thinking city planner must have realized that foggy weather conditions and a windy road would be a treacherous combination, and so signs were installed at every curve, directing drivers as to when they would need to begin to turn. While I still could not see the road, I saw the sign, and was able to trust its guidance to get me around each and ever turn safely.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Loss
It’s strange how the people we love the most, we often keep in touch with the least. We often take our relationship for granted since, whenever we meet, it’s as if the last time we spoke was yesterday - even if it's really been years.
Perhaps some of this attitude is due to overconfidence, and some due to laziness, but what I have learned is that no reason makes up for the pain of realizing that, when our friend or loved one is no longer with us, it’s been months, or even years since we last spoke to them, and that we never did get the chance to tell them what a difference they have made in our lives.
This reflection stems from news I received early Wednesday morning that my dear friend, Christine, had passed away from breast cancer in Santiago, Chile. Christine was an American emigrant that had married a Chilean iconographer and was the choir director at the Orthodox church I had attended while studying abroad in Santiago. She was energetic and always busy with one church activity or another. Her kindness and openness helped me to feel at home away from home. She and I would constantly discuss music, St. Vladimir’s Seminary (where she received a Masters degree), and the U.S. to Chile transition. Singing with her was one of the most enriching activities I have ever participated in. Since being back in the States, I had emailed her a few times, but quickly the business of a new marriage, house, and job overtook my already few opportunities to keep in touch.
This last Sunday, my family sang at a wedding for another dear friend. Because the bride’s goddaughter was from Guatemala, I offered to sing “What Shall I Render to the Lord”, in Spanish. Christine had taught it to me in Chile, and I thought it would be appropriate. The entire time I was singing it, I was thinking about how I couldn’t wait to email Christine to tell her about it and how cool she’d think it was. However, too quickly the business returned and I didn’t even check my email until Wednesday morning.
As I was getting ready to leave for school, I stole what I thought would be an innocent 5 minutes to look at my inbox. However, what I read were 2 emails from the past week that contained the shocking news that 1) Christine had been admitted to the hospital with cancer, and 2) she had passed away on Tuesday.
I’d like to think that somehow Christine knows about the hymn that we sung unknowingly in her honor at my friend’s wedding, and I pray to God that somehow my thoughts for her that day transcended time and space to give her comfort in her final hours.
The lesson I learned, which I hope I am articulating well, is that we, or more specifically I, should never be too busy to call a friend just to say hi. That I shouldn’t wait for Christmas, or a major life event to communicate how much I care about my friend or family member who is physically far from me. It is my goal that those of you who read this, my dear friends and family, will be receiving a phone call from me soon, just to say hi, and to let you know how dear you are to me and what a difference you have made in my life.
God bless you all!
¡Que la memoria de Christine sea eterna!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Updates on Life
So, nothing too deep this time around. Just some updates on how life is going, and a few pictures from the last few months.
In August, my husband, parents, and siblings and I went out to Los Angeles to visit with family. My grandmother was having her 90th birthday party, and combined with my uncle/godfather's recent diagnosis of cancer, it was finally time make the trip out there. We had a great time reuniting (and in Frank's case, meeting) with family, lounging at the beach, and going through old family pictures.
When we returned, I began a new stage of my life which has so far consumed every ounce of free time that I thought I had (and then some): full time teaching. I was offered a job in June to teach Spanish and Social Studies at a local high school (well, actually about 40 minutes away), and started at the end of August. So far, things are going well, although, as I said, VERY time consuming. I usually leave for work around 6:30am and get home around 7:00pm. Needless to say, by Friday afternoon I am EXHAUSTED! However, the kids are great, the lessons are fun, and even my Current Events class (which I have never taught before) is slowly progressing into something more than just summarizing the newspaper :)
Another unfortunate side effect of full time teaching is missing the weekday services of the church. This year the feast of the Nativity of the Theotokos and of the Elevation of the Cross both fell during the week, and I was not able to get to the morning services. However, the Lord has blessed me with things like church Podcasts and lectionary calendars which helped me celebrate those days at least in some sense at home and on my way to and from work. Not the same, but hopefully at least a small difference.
Anyway, check out the links below for some pictures from our California trip and some other random things. God bless!
Vacation Bible School: http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/VBS2010?authkey=Gv1sRgCN_Njc2nmaub8QE&feat=directlink
California trip: http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/California?authkey=Gv1sRgCO6Y8_Di3ZGzWA&feat=directlink
Founders day picnic at Church: http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/FoundersDay2010?authkey=Gv1sRgCNOa-YbSmqCFWg&feat=directlink
Labor day "picnic" (it was raining, so we stayed inside): http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/LaborDayPicnic?authkey=Gv1sRgCMSc7Iz1xZH8Vw&feat=directlink
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Breadmaking: an act of faith
Once again, I have given my best effort in the making of prosphora - the holy bread used in the Orthodox Church for Communion. I can't say that I've exactly mastered the art, but I have managed to produce a few acceptable loaves for use at our parish of St. John the Baptist. Nevertheless, this latest attempt truly seemed full of life lessons for me.
1) I can do nothing without God.
While baking bread, the most stressful part (for me at least) is making sure the yeast works. Waiting anxiously for the bubbling, foaming sign that, yes, it's ready now, before adding it to the flour and water truly feels like forever. And even then - is the air pressure right? is the oven too hot? too cold? will it raise properly? did I leave it long enough? what, exactly, is double the size? Although I add all the right ingredients and give it the right environment, this is a part of the process that seems entirely out of my control. Anything could happen and result in a flat mass of dough (this has happened to me before). I suppose much of this will come with more practice (I've only made it about 3 time so far), but I find myself in these tense moments, prayer fervently that God will bless the work of my hands and produce an acceptable offering.
Similar to the process of baking bread, I've noticed a similar pattern in life. Oftentimes, we must make large decisions - take this job, move to this city, etc. - with a sense that the ultimate outcome is entirely out of our control. We add the right "ingredients" (research, planning, prayer, preparations), but there's a mechanism in the dough-rising process that we can't quite control. And so, we pray that we may produce with our lives an offering acceptable to God.
2) I can do nothing without my own effort.
Although this seems contradictory to the last lesson, it is in fact quite complementary. While I definitely rely on God to grant my bread dough to rise, I must also add to it my own effort. I can't have bread unless I first mix the flour and the water, add the yeast, and then knead (sometimes 45 minutes!) till all the air bubbles are gone and it is no longer sticky. A great deal of my own personal effort must go into this bread - I suppose it would not be considered a "sacrifice" otherwise.
Similarly, in life, God will bless our efforts - but we must first put for the effort! We cannot ask God to grant us grace to give liberally to the poor, and then go out to eat every weekend, see one or two movies a week, and buy every new electronic gadget that hits the market. Some amount of our own effort is necessary if we are to grow in the grace of God, be it budgeting money or time, showing up that extra half hour on Sunday morning to help set up coffee hour, or that extra hour to hear all of the Orthros (Matins) service.
So, with this combination of my effort and God's blessings, God produces (note, I did not say "I produce") an offering acceptable to Him.
1) I can do nothing without God.
While baking bread, the most stressful part (for me at least) is making sure the yeast works. Waiting anxiously for the bubbling, foaming sign that, yes, it's ready now, before adding it to the flour and water truly feels like forever. And even then - is the air pressure right? is the oven too hot? too cold? will it raise properly? did I leave it long enough? what, exactly, is double the size? Although I add all the right ingredients and give it the right environment, this is a part of the process that seems entirely out of my control. Anything could happen and result in a flat mass of dough (this has happened to me before). I suppose much of this will come with more practice (I've only made it about 3 time so far), but I find myself in these tense moments, prayer fervently that God will bless the work of my hands and produce an acceptable offering.
Similar to the process of baking bread, I've noticed a similar pattern in life. Oftentimes, we must make large decisions - take this job, move to this city, etc. - with a sense that the ultimate outcome is entirely out of our control. We add the right "ingredients" (research, planning, prayer, preparations), but there's a mechanism in the dough-rising process that we can't quite control. And so, we pray that we may produce with our lives an offering acceptable to God.
2) I can do nothing without my own effort.
Although this seems contradictory to the last lesson, it is in fact quite complementary. While I definitely rely on God to grant my bread dough to rise, I must also add to it my own effort. I can't have bread unless I first mix the flour and the water, add the yeast, and then knead (sometimes 45 minutes!) till all the air bubbles are gone and it is no longer sticky. A great deal of my own personal effort must go into this bread - I suppose it would not be considered a "sacrifice" otherwise.
Similarly, in life, God will bless our efforts - but we must first put for the effort! We cannot ask God to grant us grace to give liberally to the poor, and then go out to eat every weekend, see one or two movies a week, and buy every new electronic gadget that hits the market. Some amount of our own effort is necessary if we are to grow in the grace of God, be it budgeting money or time, showing up that extra half hour on Sunday morning to help set up coffee hour, or that extra hour to hear all of the Orthros (Matins) service.
So, with this combination of my effort and God's blessings, God produces (note, I did not say "I produce") an offering acceptable to Him.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
I Am Thankful
On Monday, Frank and I will celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary. A great deal has happened over these last 12 months, and at the end of it all, all I can say to God is: "Thank you".
Thank you for my wonderful husband, who helps me through my struggles, both physical, spiritual, and emotional. He teaches me to be a better person by lovingly (although firmly) revealing to me how often I delude myself into thinking I'm perfect, when in fact I am FAR from it. And even though I am so far from perfect, he stands by my side no matter what mess I've gotten myself into this time.
Thank you for my beautiful house, which, though trying at times, keeps us warm and sheltered. As our major housing projects finally are coming to an end, we are beginning to be able to open our house more and more to our friends, practice hospitality, and create an environment in which we feel surrounded by God, His saints, and the Church.
Thank you for my family who is close by, and my parents who are supportive; for my father, without whose handyman experience our house would never be in the shape it is now; for my mother, who teaches me daily about the little trials of running a household that I had never realized before; for my brother, who is growing up so much, and inspires me to be a better sister and friend; and for my sister, who although far away, daily gives me opportunities to grow into a better, more loving person.
Thank you for my loving church community, with friends who help and support my spiritual growth. Thank you for the opportunities to serve God through singing and teaching Sunday school, as well as through service to my community. Thank you for our priest who teaches us as often as he can, through word and deed, the Truth of the Gospel.
Thank you for my employment, which is hard to come by these days, especially for new teachers. The staff I work with is supporting and helpful, they pay for me to continue my education, and the students appear hard working and earnest.
I could go on and on, and please don't get the impression that I am boasting. For, most honestly, none of these "accomplishments" are in any way shape or form of my own efforts or abilities. My gratitude stems from the sure knowledge that my husband, my house, my family, my parish community, my job, all stem from the One Good and Loving God who knows what I need at this moment in my life, and knows that I may need different things as life moves on (only He knows what is coming next). I can only trust that, no matter what turns this path of life may take, He will provide for me and my family what we need to grow closer to Him.
That is why I want to take this opportunity to express my thankfulness for everyone and everything God has brought into my life; without them, I would be a far sadder person. I pray God will bless the year ahead with His love and peace. Amen.
Thank you for my wonderful husband, who helps me through my struggles, both physical, spiritual, and emotional. He teaches me to be a better person by lovingly (although firmly) revealing to me how often I delude myself into thinking I'm perfect, when in fact I am FAR from it. And even though I am so far from perfect, he stands by my side no matter what mess I've gotten myself into this time.
Thank you for my beautiful house, which, though trying at times, keeps us warm and sheltered. As our major housing projects finally are coming to an end, we are beginning to be able to open our house more and more to our friends, practice hospitality, and create an environment in which we feel surrounded by God, His saints, and the Church.
Thank you for my family who is close by, and my parents who are supportive; for my father, without whose handyman experience our house would never be in the shape it is now; for my mother, who teaches me daily about the little trials of running a household that I had never realized before; for my brother, who is growing up so much, and inspires me to be a better sister and friend; and for my sister, who although far away, daily gives me opportunities to grow into a better, more loving person.
Thank you for my loving church community, with friends who help and support my spiritual growth. Thank you for the opportunities to serve God through singing and teaching Sunday school, as well as through service to my community. Thank you for our priest who teaches us as often as he can, through word and deed, the Truth of the Gospel.
Thank you for my employment, which is hard to come by these days, especially for new teachers. The staff I work with is supporting and helpful, they pay for me to continue my education, and the students appear hard working and earnest.
I could go on and on, and please don't get the impression that I am boasting. For, most honestly, none of these "accomplishments" are in any way shape or form of my own efforts or abilities. My gratitude stems from the sure knowledge that my husband, my house, my family, my parish community, my job, all stem from the One Good and Loving God who knows what I need at this moment in my life, and knows that I may need different things as life moves on (only He knows what is coming next). I can only trust that, no matter what turns this path of life may take, He will provide for me and my family what we need to grow closer to Him.
That is why I want to take this opportunity to express my thankfulness for everyone and everything God has brought into my life; without them, I would be a far sadder person. I pray God will bless the year ahead with His love and peace. Amen.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Housing Projects
Well, since our first day in our new house, we have had LOTS of projects. As we are frequently reminded, such is the life of a home owner. While we've been quite busy and have had to put off our "open house" for a few months now (we're hoping for Labor Day weekend), we've finally made significant progress. Here are some before and after pictures for our two biggest projects: the exterior paint, and the basement (please excuse the mess in the basement; it's still not 100% done, but at least you can see the new floor).
Before painting: http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/BeforeHousePaint?authkey=Gv1sRgCLG_48rB4bSh_wE&feat=directlink
After painting: http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/AfterHousePaint?authkey=Gv1sRgCOu34tK9vuSSowE&feat=directlink
Before basement (after the flood): http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/BeforeBasement?authkey=Gv1sRgCL6o9s3w6_nWJw&feat=directlink
After basement: http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/AfterBasement?authkey=Gv1sRgCMbWyY33uPyfaQ&feat=directlink
Oh, and here are some pictures of our backyard in bloom:
http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/GardenAndBackyard?authkey=Gv1sRgCMeq4Ya82YzaEQ&feat=directlink
Before painting: http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/BeforeHousePaint?authkey=Gv1sRgCLG_48rB4bSh_wE&feat=directlink
After painting: http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/AfterHousePaint?authkey=Gv1sRgCOu34tK9vuSSowE&feat=directlink
Before basement (after the flood): http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/BeforeBasement?authkey=Gv1sRgCL6o9s3w6_nWJw&feat=directlink
After basement: http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/AfterBasement?authkey=Gv1sRgCMbWyY33uPyfaQ&feat=directlink
Oh, and here are some pictures of our backyard in bloom:
http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/GardenAndBackyard?authkey=Gv1sRgCMeq4Ya82YzaEQ&feat=directlink
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
House Blessing Pics
So, since it's been so long since I've written, I guess I have some catching up to do picture-wise:
Here are some pictures from our house blessing. It was a beautiful service for the blessing of a new home, done only once when a family first moves in. Our house was blessed with incense, oil, and holy water, and we even had the cars blessed :)
http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/HouseBlessing02?feat=directlink
I don't know why, but somehow knowing the house has been blessed changes the feel of living here. I am so thankful our Church offers us these prayers to sanctify every detail of our lives and dedicate it all to Christ. That being said, if anyone is in the neighborhood, please do stop by, we'd love to see you! We even have a new guest room for overnight stays :)
Here are some pictures from our house blessing. It was a beautiful service for the blessing of a new home, done only once when a family first moves in. Our house was blessed with incense, oil, and holy water, and we even had the cars blessed :)
http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/HouseBlessing02?feat=directlink
I don't know why, but somehow knowing the house has been blessed changes the feel of living here. I am so thankful our Church offers us these prayers to sanctify every detail of our lives and dedicate it all to Christ. That being said, if anyone is in the neighborhood, please do stop by, we'd love to see you! We even have a new guest room for overnight stays :)
Saints Peter and Paul
While I have been out of the blogging practice for a while, I truly am going to try to get back on the wagon, and I feel today is a particularly appropriate day to begin.
In the Orthodox Church, we commemorate today two of the greatest saints - Peter and Paul. What I personally love about the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul is the hymnography - it is pretty much dedicated 1/3 to St. Peter, 1/3 to St. Paul, and 1/3 to both of them together. While we were unable to make liturgy this morning, Frank and I did read through parts of the Vespers service from last night, and I would just like to share the following hymns that stood out at me:
I think it was Fr. Thomas Hopko who said once that Peter and Paul didn't always see eye to eye. Even so, they both humbly worked together for the benefit of the Church. I think this is a great example for all of us as we strive to work within our parishes for the same goal - the spreading of the Gospel!
God bless you all on this feast!
In the Orthodox Church, we commemorate today two of the greatest saints - Peter and Paul. What I personally love about the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul is the hymnography - it is pretty much dedicated 1/3 to St. Peter, 1/3 to St. Paul, and 1/3 to both of them together. While we were unable to make liturgy this morning, Frank and I did read through parts of the Vespers service from last night, and I would just like to share the following hymns that stood out at me:
With what wreaths of praise shall we crown Peter and Paul?
Separated in body, they were united by the Spirit;
they rank first among preachers:
one was the leader of the Apostles,
while the other labored more than them all.
Truly, Christ our God, Who has great mercy,
has adorned them with the crowns of immortal glory.
Let us praise Peter and Paul, the two great stars of the Church.
They shine brighter than the sun in the sky of faith.
Let the nations follow the rays of their preaching,
and be led from ignorance to the knowledge of God!
One was nailed to the Cross and received the keys of the Kingdom from Christ in heaven.
The other, beheaded by the sword, departed to the Savior,
and is worthily counted blessed.
Together they proclaim to Israel:
“He Who was stretched out on the Cross is the Lord of all!”
By their prayers, O Christ our God,
strengthen the Orthodox Faith and destroy our enemies,
as you are the Lover of mankind!
I think it was Fr. Thomas Hopko who said once that Peter and Paul didn't always see eye to eye. Even so, they both humbly worked together for the benefit of the Church. I think this is a great example for all of us as we strive to work within our parishes for the same goal - the spreading of the Gospel!
God bless you all on this feast!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
New House Pictures :)
Long story short, the move went well, we're in our new house! Below is a link to pictures, both before and after the move:
http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/NewHouse?feat=directlink
A little new home owner drama: within the first week, our leaky sink refused to be fixed, and our dishwasher decided to break at the same time. So now not only did I not have a dishwasher, I had no sink to even hand wash dishes in! It was a pretty interesting couple of days before the plumber fixed the sink and I could at least do dishes that way. But now, we have a new dishwasher as well (and were able to take advantage of the Iowa new appliance rebate program, despite spending the entire day on the phone listening to busy signals). The snow has now melted, I've taken advantage of our neighborhood park walking trails, and I finally got a look at my backyard (pictures will have to come later).
Anyway, other updates - subbing is going well, though spring break the last two weeks (one for one district, another for the others) has kinda put a damper on job availability, and being sick this week hasn't helped any either. Job outlook is questionable, with all of the budget cuts, but we keep praying something will open up.
That's about it for now, not too exciting. I hope everyone has a blessed remainder of Lent, and I look forward to discussing the upcoming Feast of Feasts: the Pascha of our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ!
http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/NewHouse?feat=directlink
A little new home owner drama: within the first week, our leaky sink refused to be fixed, and our dishwasher decided to break at the same time. So now not only did I not have a dishwasher, I had no sink to even hand wash dishes in! It was a pretty interesting couple of days before the plumber fixed the sink and I could at least do dishes that way. But now, we have a new dishwasher as well (and were able to take advantage of the Iowa new appliance rebate program, despite spending the entire day on the phone listening to busy signals). The snow has now melted, I've taken advantage of our neighborhood park walking trails, and I finally got a look at my backyard (pictures will have to come later).
Anyway, other updates - subbing is going well, though spring break the last two weeks (one for one district, another for the others) has kinda put a damper on job availability, and being sick this week hasn't helped any either. Job outlook is questionable, with all of the budget cuts, but we keep praying something will open up.
That's about it for now, not too exciting. I hope everyone has a blessed remainder of Lent, and I look forward to discussing the upcoming Feast of Feasts: the Pascha of our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
House Updates and a Sunday School Reflection
Good Morning!
Thanks be to God, everything surrounding our purchase of a new home has gone miraculously smoothly. From the inspection (wonderful) to renegotiating the price (problem-less) to packing (almost done! Thanks Mom and Dad), Frank and I can only thank God for this wonderful opportunity. Added to that the interesting information that Frank's Godfather used to own the house a few years back, each day we grow more confident that there is a greater plan behind this purchase. We do not as yet know what, but it is exciting.
At the link below, you can find some photos of the interior of the house:
http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/NewHouse02?authkey=Gv1sRgCP3K_Z2d4eakUA&feat=directlink
As the dual-title suggests, I also have a Sunday School reflection :) This Sunday, I had the opportunity to sub for my mom as the High School Sunday School Teacher at church. The class is currently reading "Who is God? Who am I? Who are you?". While a bit dated, I still enjoy the book and its honest and age-leveled discussions on the root of all passions - pride!
This Sunday, we discussed the common phenomenon of self-justification and its ability to keep us from repentance (for how could we repent, if we cannot even admit we sin?) In the process of our discussion, I recalled the hymn sung at Orthros only an hour or so prior, so very appropriate to this period in the Church's year, and so applicable to our discussion:
Open to me the doors of repentance, O Life-Giver, for my spirit rises early to pray towards Thy holy temple, bearing the temple of my body all defiled. But in Thy compassion, cleanse me by the greatness of Thy mercy.
As we cannot do anything without God, neither, I believe, can we even truly repent without Him. He opens to us the "doors of repentance" by helping us see our sins, by giving us the strength to be humble and admit to ourselves first of all that we sin every day, and sometimes quite gravely. How easy it is to blame an argument on our parent or sibling or friend or enemy, and absolve ourselves from any guilt? And yet, did we not perhaps forget to do what we were told, or raise our voice, or call names, or gossip about that person sometime in the course of our interaction with them? We are never free from responsibility in a conflict, and this is what our book was teaching us this Sunday. While I know I was assuming the role of teacher, I feel that I came away from our Sunday school class even more cognizant of my own short-comings and hypocrisy in this area of my life. May the gift of Great Lent which God is giving to us help all of us in our struggle towards becoming "perfect" as our Father is Heaven is "perfect", and may He continue to open to us the doors of repentance, by showing us our imperfections.
Thanks be to God, everything surrounding our purchase of a new home has gone miraculously smoothly. From the inspection (wonderful) to renegotiating the price (problem-less) to packing (almost done! Thanks Mom and Dad), Frank and I can only thank God for this wonderful opportunity. Added to that the interesting information that Frank's Godfather used to own the house a few years back, each day we grow more confident that there is a greater plan behind this purchase. We do not as yet know what, but it is exciting.
At the link below, you can find some photos of the interior of the house:
http://picasaweb.google.com/julianadancer1/NewHouse02?authkey=Gv1sRgCP3K_Z2d4eakUA&feat=directlink
As the dual-title suggests, I also have a Sunday School reflection :) This Sunday, I had the opportunity to sub for my mom as the High School Sunday School Teacher at church. The class is currently reading "Who is God? Who am I? Who are you?". While a bit dated, I still enjoy the book and its honest and age-leveled discussions on the root of all passions - pride!
This Sunday, we discussed the common phenomenon of self-justification and its ability to keep us from repentance (for how could we repent, if we cannot even admit we sin?) In the process of our discussion, I recalled the hymn sung at Orthros only an hour or so prior, so very appropriate to this period in the Church's year, and so applicable to our discussion:
Open to me the doors of repentance, O Life-Giver, for my spirit rises early to pray towards Thy holy temple, bearing the temple of my body all defiled. But in Thy compassion, cleanse me by the greatness of Thy mercy.
As we cannot do anything without God, neither, I believe, can we even truly repent without Him. He opens to us the "doors of repentance" by helping us see our sins, by giving us the strength to be humble and admit to ourselves first of all that we sin every day, and sometimes quite gravely. How easy it is to blame an argument on our parent or sibling or friend or enemy, and absolve ourselves from any guilt? And yet, did we not perhaps forget to do what we were told, or raise our voice, or call names, or gossip about that person sometime in the course of our interaction with them? We are never free from responsibility in a conflict, and this is what our book was teaching us this Sunday. While I know I was assuming the role of teacher, I feel that I came away from our Sunday school class even more cognizant of my own short-comings and hypocrisy in this area of my life. May the gift of Great Lent which God is giving to us help all of us in our struggle towards becoming "perfect" as our Father is Heaven is "perfect", and may He continue to open to us the doors of repentance, by showing us our imperfections.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Unless the Lord builds the House...
The latest news in the Dancer household is … a house! Yes, Frank and I are embarking on the new adventure of becoming homeowners. It is a lovely 4 bedrooom 2 ½ bath ranch house with a finished basement (and a fireplace!) and we are both very excited.
Aside from the unavoidable learning curve involved in purchasing a home (realtors, closing costs, loans, home owner’s insurance, etc.), I have been doing a great deal of reflecting on how this whole adventure came about, and the necessity of following the Will of God in all of our endeavors in life.
You see, we were not in the market for a house. Our apartment, though smaller and slightly smokey, is certainly comfortable. There's plenty of space, our pictures are up, and we even have room for two cars (though admittedly not inside the garage).
However, I'm beginning to learn that Life is definitely not about "comfortable". It seems that, whenever we finally reach that point where we are ready to settle down into the groove of things, (however long that takes us) God decides to throw something new and exciting our way, just to keep us on our toes.
That's kind of how it worked with our house. Our friends have been house hunting for more than 6 months, and Frank has been talking with them about the different things they're learning and going through with that. On January 14, Frank was looking through some home listings just kinda for fun, and saw one he kinda liked. After giving me a call at work, we decided it wouldn't hurt to check it out. "Just for fun."
That house was very nice, but smelled of covered up cigarette smoke (not something I could see myself living with for the next 5-10 years). However, the realtor told us that she had three other houses in that same price range if we wanted to look. Again, "just for fun", though slightly more interested, we signed up for a Saturday showing.
Saturday was a lot of fun, and we found a house that was in our price range, big enough for a great many of our home owning dreams, and lacking any major problems. We went to the open house on Sunday, had it "professionally inspected" by my father on Monday, and made an offer on Tuesday. On Wednesday, Frank's birthday, our offer was accepted.
Needless to say, this last week has been a whirlwind as we now need to buy appliances, apply for our home loan, and buy home owner's insurance, not to mention schedule the real inspector and begin the arduous and despised process of packing.
At various points, I would ask myself: "What are we thinking? We don't need a house!" And sure enough, the next day I would hear about Zaccheus and his hospitality or about "Holiness becomes Your house O Lord forever!" and would have to rethink my goals for home ownership in the first place. Is a house a timely investment meant to offer financial security, a stable environment for family building, and a way to impress family and friends? Or rather, is it a gift from God meant to be used for His glory, by hospitality and prayer, and for the building up of the Church of God? I would continuously come back to the realization that we (Frank and I) had almost nothing to do with initiating this entire process at all. God was definitely at work here, and we are continually humbled by the many blessings He has bestowed on us. We also realize that this new home is His gift to us to be used to glorify His name and further His work.
I'm still not entirely sure how this new home fits in with His Will for our lives (though I do take it to mean we will be living in Cedar Rapids for many more years to come), but I am very excited and pray that we will use it appropriately as good stewards of the talent He has given us.
Please check back soon for photos of the new house and updates on the packing/moving process (I will
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